china doll

Ok so im overdue for a blog - this one is gonna be a little more personal - a friend of mine says i only talk about love - my response is yea so - its something im recently learning about and healing from -something still Fresh for me . I dont think im ready to touch on my critical opinions of society -or am i???hmmm- so many to pick from - females and guys -its still a lil love related but oh well- i believe there is something in a female that desires to nurture and be nutured(many who are not men haters or stubborn may agree with this ) . For some reason when a woman finds that one man who she is feelin- and has envisioned being romantically involved- (which we do from the jump)she fails to notice she is losing some of her sanity . He is still being him -and she is -on the inside- smitten hard. I see alot today of girls compromising themselves for guys - and you look at the guy -they are... ???? still chilling and posted on the wall.Women, females , i hate to say it but sometimes we are Extra , hell alot of times we are extra. We are willing to jump stupid over a guy who we are not even commited to most times , we are willing to dress a certain way jsut to get their attention , willing to be their"Do girl " jsut so they can be happy -but in the mist of all we are losing and compromising our happiness for one individual. I have had two experiences lately when two girls have wanted to fight me over a guy - I'm not about drama-NO NO-i take the blame partially for this though because i give my number in places I should know better - at least i know better when im sober ,cause after the fact i fail to entertain these guys,but its not uncommon to see this with females- especially ones who are not even in  a relationship with the guy they are fighting over . Tip to all women -if he is not legally your man -and if he is even a "man" - save the strife - would he do the same for you ???nothing to knock men - but we do to much extra for guys - they see this , know this - and what an EGO boost - my motto has always been dont put in more than what you are recieving - this really applies for the daters and ones who have not reached the over a year mark . But i think as women our desire to be wanted and needed tends to cause us to do a lot of compromising . I just look around today and think its really sad - i think alot of this falls under teen pregnancy ,and premarital sex period. Women want attention- i can speak on that fully - it took time for me to get where im at now - im still insecure in ways but i have come far - back in middle school -oh my - i was a clueless girl -thick bushy hair ,glasses and wanted to dress to keep up with everybody else- sixth grade year i chipped my two front teeth ( mind you i had sucked my fingers for years and it had failed to mess up my teeth ) and that summer i lost my thick long hair - it broke off from an incident with some braids i had -my hair and teeth! my self esteem went whmp whmp- i tried to dress a certain way for what i lacked , tight jeans ,tight shirts, i would accept attention from any being with a penis , i let them touch me and just make comments about me -so i could feel good about myself -im still a lil insecure about my teeth today, i fail to smile in pictures - my hair looks healthy -hasnt gotten quite where i want it to be but it is longer and thick - i changed my attitude back in 10th grade about myself -i had my first boyfriend and first kiss junior year - and throughout that relationship something happened to my self esteem - i had gained weight and i begin to feel insecure again - could it be the fact i wasnt sure if he wanted me considering he had dumped me three times -i dont know - but im 20 years old now and single - relationships are for people who want to get serious - there are people out there who just want to mess around so no one should feel obligated to get in a relationship just for a certain reason - that is the truth and the world we live in - dont settle or compromise - truth be said if you value yourself - give yourself a respectful image -someone else will too . Society can rub on a person truly( so many compromising religous people) -we all want acceptance, from the music we listen to , the way we dress, our hair , how often do these trends originate from our own minds before we see it on someone else ?- as for women ,girls, females - value yourself - nobody is worth your self respect - the more you consider yourself gold so will everybody else - now there is a difference between self respect and arrogance. but be a china doll- one who looks good but not everybody gets a chance to have because you too expensive. In the long run its the biggest treat one can do for them self .