WAKE UP !-rise and shine

I really hate to be one to say i wish i couldve done this that way or I  wish this wouldnt have happened.. I believe its really true when people say you find what u are looking for . As much as I over analyze, my brain hurts and there is never a perfect answer. just as i question people with "why" i question myself with it too. I have been anxious to find love or to come across it .I have had my share of talking to ....a number of dudes..I have lost hope in finding it in todays society , but have yet to find patience. I believe good things to come to those who wait, and oddly enough sometimes there u find a good chip in a stale bag. How can you blame one for wanting love tho. It feels good to have that best friend and some one u can be with on another level. But i have taken advantage of the single life, probably not to its fullest. I have in some ways stepped back from this expected set and stone lifestyle ppl have expected of me , and im still growing.I feel i have so much more to do for myself. If i would take advantage more of investing time into myself instead of dreamy thoughts ...patience probably wouldnt be a problem. My passive attitude and over caring ways are what put me in a bind - we all know that everyone isnt gonna like us , we all know that it takes a strong person to speak there mind, and it takes a strong person to be alone. Im still cutting my friend list down - its hard but im accepting that not everyone has your best interest in heart, and no matter how long they have been in your life sometimes those will be the ones you have to let go. The world is a cruel place and its a crime when u care about more what people say than yourself dignity ..and i have committed a crime.A friend of mine, for months now, has been telling me to take some "me" time - to cut my phone off and draw , paint, do something productive and quit worrying about these people who so call have my interest.smh..why is that such a challenge. Im literally my own worst critic. which is one of my good characteristics - i rather i judge myself and be aware of myself than somebody else happening to do it.. though it still will happen regardless, but it only makes you more confident when you are one step ahead of the game . so people can try to knock you but they cant . The people you surround yourself with are either gonna pull u up , pull u down, or just take you nowhere in life... if they are not pulling you up than you are just investing more time and energy into a future nobody  -as harsh as that sounds. Age is no excuse for where you are in life , for I have witnessed many young people doing big things - my thing is procrastination-smh - why do i continue to put off myself for  these nothings and nobodys...the best way to look at it though ..its a growing process. I think at even the the oldest age you will continue to grow.Someone once told me you have to push yourself and do the uncomfortable - the fastest and most effective way to grow. I think more people in life experience more of the would haves than the should haves. My new thing is just to "Go for it " , be easy , relax, and Go. There is no escaping a world of haters , assholes, or perverts for that matter and what they do should be more motvitation to keep doin what u do-if that is on a positive note . A good friend of mine told me recently how i have alot to offer but other people dont see it that way .Its crazy for her to see my worth  and i havent even acknowledged or valued it as she was. take one day at of time and make first things first ..which is myself .